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To Wake Like This

June 30, 2002

To wake like this…

Moving

moving across some field of planted plans,
designs to design a design, slowly,
like a turtle-egg being pushed by
gusts of periodic wind,

The essence of slowly arriving to a hatching
place peers through the shells’ transparency,
while from inside Nature says to the surface ~
‘Anyplace is fine, anyplace… Really! Before
you petrify.’

Yet the turtle has its time,
hatching is personal,
not the sort which blends with the momentary
whims of what another finds ‘right about time.’

‘Personal’ conditions

I ascribe this environment to a cave that has
been turned inside out, left to the passing sun
to dry its secrets to the openness of the air

and having done so, releases those spectacles
which attract people to look inside us (akin to
the large business belonging to the small hole
possessed by the kaleidoscope) oh-ing and ah-ing
at what is even easier to leave once the light
from the mouth of the cave fades, when the depth is
stretched and the tube tumbled beyond its usefulness.

To let personablenesses roll about,
outside ourselves, not collecting to form
an even greater picture-pattern of mystery,
not giggling to step behind a tree,
like a child with a white flag-secret,
waving to Sharing, signaling,
laughing ‘I surrender, I surrender’ ~

This is no more than the language of Shyness,
not Reason, nor Friendship: he or she will carry
that tree for a long time.

And where Shyness steps up, do we not forget
ourselves, the grand size of things and thoughts?
How much smaller we become to hide a small thing,
which, if only we could remember it having occurred
within us a week ago, having been considered a
‘meaningful’ thought, this week a vague recollection
having turned back into a thing, would prove a
significant piece of a self, an inner beginning,
a seed to have a sun for.

That a child would make a toy of fire or a buzzing,
pausing bee is not far from a possibility in happening
at least once, before he learns what is best for his
daily life and its share in Peace of Mind:

yet that we, supposedly arriving larger from that
small place of tender tendons and sensitive skin,
forget and are burnt and stung from this forgetting,
often simultaneously, numerous times upon the tip
of our beautiful, lonesome hands, go into more of it,
dowsing ourselves in the fire of tempestuous revenge
and from that one unfigured, misunderstood sting,
kick the hive, tear off its lid to spit at the swarming
winged hail-storm, rattle the burning house to fall
quicker, burn hotter, condense itself,

and finally satiated as a swollen, flaming corpse,
leap from a shear cliff side (in the process of crumbling
into an avalanche) and dive under a quiet sea of
prehistoric, volatile fuel,

swim swim throughout it,
a living, breathing watery meteor of desperation,

till the candle shuts its eye,
not for the lack of desiring to burn,
rather, that the wick is but itself
and cannot spread out to save a little
of its own, as the wax does so surely slow.

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