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Turkey Vulture

August 21, 2014

I’m remembering or Remembering is hosting me in its heart,
This realm of circular orbits and quiet omissions of being able
to walk away, just like that, like a four-leaf-clover appearing
in the dark, amongst a field of three-leafed ones,
not singing or glowing, not lost or found, neither lucky or
unlucky, simply one more of the same as One, Two and Three,

I drove past you,
Your majesty sprawled out on the center-double line,
Wings bent and dissuaded to lift,
I catch a glimpse of your lifted-up-head and your open eyes,
I think to myself, ‘Did I see that your eyes were alive?’
I slow down and turn around, I’m coming back to see you again,

Yes, you’re lifted head is looking around, no sound,
I imagine your heartbeat, I imagine your breathing breath,
Little tufts of inhalation and exhalation, too tiny to pinpoint,
too mysterious to test with a mirror I do not have,
I pull over and park,
I grab a hoe from my tools,
but decide to pick you up with my hands,

Cars slow and pull around, then drive on,
I’m dressed in light tan and white,
You’re dressed in all black and you’re a redhead,
Beautiful eyes, no sign of pain, but I know,
because I see it in your body language and by the sign of
some piece of meat on the road that your time is counting
louder in the Halls of Flights & Landings,

Later I’d imagine that ‘that’ sliver of flesh belonged to
the fox you were scavenging and still had in your beak when
you were hit by another traveler as you flew away from your station,
Spooked by its passing vehicle-ism,
Some something just said ‘Go’ and you did.

I pick you up and carry you to the side of the road,
Into the shade,
Onto a soft arena of leafs,
Lay you down,
Feel the warmth of your head at the entrance of my forefinger,
Feeling the texture of the little stubby hairs,
I see the extraordinary palace-entrances of your beak
where the dead enter and say ‘Fly to me,’
Gentle touch, gentle everything,
You’ve called me out and here I am,

I see no blood, just the majesty of your black ballroom
sky-gown and those eyes looking out and in simultaneously,
I imagine that the sky is now just a dream for you and that the
ground is your choicest chamber of secrets,

To touch you,
To feel what only a thousand feet or more has ever touched,
To know you now, so forward in flight from the fledgling
you once were, from egg to sharing parent-feasts,
from nest to limb, from tree to forest floor and then to sky-rim,

I am so close to being too far away,
So clued in being clueless about any of this,
Is it a theatre? No, it couldn’t be, because there’s no rehearsals
in dying, it comes and sweeps libraries away, whole species too,
Prince of shadow, Herald of breaking all hypocritical circles Life
sustains and bears,

To return later that night,
To find you not there,
To pick up one feather left behind,
Did you pick yourself up and fly?
Did something else take your passing form for its sustenance
and continuance?

Shortly after I lay you down I moved the flattened fox,
which was just opposite of where you lay,
Also sprawled out and in a different, more visceral way,
was internally opened to the outside,
I decided to do this for the sake of what happened to you,
So that it wouldn’t happen ‘there’ or to any of your friends,
I feel you didn’t fly away, yet a spark of miracle may have
leapt into your Fate,
I’m almost glad I didn’t find you,
But you’re always found now,
In my memory’s eye,
Forever lifting your head up from the double-line,
Sober and glowing in black diamondness,

I had made a contract that if you were there and alive,
That we’d go home together,
We’re already home aren’t we? There’s no appointment,
there’s no date, there’s no Judgment Day or Heart-scale,
‘Anubis’ is simply another word for Conscience,

We’ve already done all of that in just making it this far,
Into the lap of Life and the crown of Death as a shinning star
returning to the breath of an undivided heaven all over,
no Up,
no Down.


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